hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
