Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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