Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
