You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
