Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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