You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
