The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize