I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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