Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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