I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize