The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
