If i come over, it means nothing
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
