actually, I'm a sock model
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize
