are you still at the devil's house?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you traded sex for a burrito?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
