I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sext me about skeletons
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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