Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
