At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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