So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
