Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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