Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The struggles of a small town man whore
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
