his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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