Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
