I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
