I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize