He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
