i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
