So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
