He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
