so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I AM VODKA MAN
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
