Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
worst night to have a conscience
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
