She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
