Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
