I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Life is so much better after having sex.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
