How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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