The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
