Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
