Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
