he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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