You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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