You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
