She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
