You made me cry and you don't even care
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
did you just send me my own nude
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