So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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