we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
