Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I will pee on everything he values.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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