would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
