Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
