We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize