and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
