I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
