You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
