whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
