anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize