Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
