oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
