The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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