somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
