It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm like, not good at living.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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