You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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