:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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